Busola Dakolo accuses Pst.Fatoyinbo Biodun of rape

As a story that is still roaring in the social media now. Busola Dakola who is the lawful wedded wife of Timi Dakolo announces to the media that she was raped by pst.Fatoyinbo Biodun.
the story states that the alleged pastor of COZA(Common wealth of Zion) was a very good friend of the family. The story states that Busolas' mother actually decided to parent her daughter Busola with this spiritual man of God as the Father of Busola. Fatoyinbo was always informed of all the dealings of the family. He always knew when the family will be in church or not. This happened on Monday when the Fatoyinbo raped Busola. She also said that it continued to happen.

The point in trying to make is that this issue of rape has to be stopped. The government needs to to make sure of upholding the punishment pf all these rapists. People coming out now so that their voices can be heard. Busola Dakolo has led the way and so now the others who as been raped for no just course by their guardians now have the right and shoe raise their voices so it can be heard. A protest of "enough is enough"has been set up so that those who had been raped can speak up.
The issue now is not about speaking out. The issue now is that will all these people who have been accuses and those that will soon be accused be punished?
When they come out to speak I'm very sure that most of them also wants this person to be punished. It's not just talking but also the fact that this people should be punished.
When a person is raped,it destroys the person psychologically and even emotionally. No matter how long this might have happened,it still will have an effect on your life except you have a very good relationship with God.

Being judgemental in your relationship is a very bad thing. For you to be in a relationship,you do not need to be the judge of your relationship be you the girl/boy in the relationship. We need to look into it today because this is what has broken some relationships today. For you to be in a relationship,it means you are mature and you are able to put things under control. Be it anger,jealousy or pride. Relationships are for matured minds and not just for those that thinks that they want to join the queue of people in a relationship. I will say a judgemental person is someone who reacts to something without even thinking of it before passing any judge. Being judgemental is not all that bad because it is our inner mind that is talking and making those decisions. But when you take it to the extreme without even thinking is when you become judgemental.   

HOW TO KNOW YOU ARE JUDGEMENTAL

• When you start getting annoyed at every little thing done by your partner .
• When you start getting jealous at every little thing which will make you always complain and judge.
• Your pride can make you judge mental at some stage in your relationship. You tend to always see the mistake of your partner than the ones he/she did well.
• When you decide to continue your relationship based on the past it mistakes of your partner which will always make you judge your partner with the mistakes he did in the past.
•  You are annoyed when he doesn't do what you want him to do. You need to understand that he can't be at your disposal at all time.
• You find out that you can't tolerate him because of a particular behavior he/she has. You must understand that in a relationship,you are meant to correct each others mistakes.
• You should also take note when you can't appreciate your partner for every little thing that he/she does for you. Nothing is too small to be appreciated in a relationship. You must appreciate your partner for everything he/she does for you instead of you complaining.
• If you don't trust your partner you should know that you are judgemental.

Does any of these feature resemble you in your relationship? Well nothing is spolt. Something can still be done.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU FIND OUT THAT YOU HAVE ANY OF THESE FEATURES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

• Make sure to find out what the real matter is before you judge.
• Since its the relationship between the both of you,you should learn how to accept the messy part of your relationship.
• Before you judge your partner,try to be in his/her shoes to know why he/she had to take that step. Don't just jump into conclusion start judging.

It's not as if being judgemental is all that bad,but it has to be controlled by your inner self. Don't let it dominate you in your relationship as it might cause a breakup. Your partner might become fed up and decide not to continue with you. So be conscious.

You have your own thoughts about this topic,please do let us know by commenting in the comment box so others can also learn and view your thought.

Yes!! You can also follow my fellow blogger on same topic on https://lonerwolf.com

Still in the mode of fathers day. It's just a day after fathers day but they can and are still celebrated. Happy fathers day to all the fathers in the universe. And yes we won't forget also the upcoming fathers who their wife/ girlfriend is pregnant. Happy fathers day. Even if our fathers always look tough and as if they don't seem to care,but we must still give it to them because they still try their best to make earns meet for their family. We celebrate 🙌 them and wish them more to come and the grace to still continue to fend for their families.

We won't just be talking about how to make a relationship fun,but also what keeps a relationship stronger and firm.
But first I would like to thank my blog viewers. Those that always take their time to visit my blog. Most people ask themselve how they can make their relationship strong and last longer. Things will be mentioned here to help you cause they are my logics and it has helped me and is still helping me.

•   Best Friends: I didn't mention love first because truly speaking,friendship should come first. Make your partner your best friend first. I once heard from someone "that a relationship is not just about two lovers,but about two best friends who find each other lovely to become lovers". Make your partner your best friend and you will be free around each other.
•  Confidant: Your partner must be your first confidant. It's true that your mum should be your first confidant but when you get to that stage of being in a relationship,your confidant changes to your partner. After all one of the reasons for us being in a relationship is to be able to tell someone the weirdest things you can't tell your mum.
• Trust: For you to have being able to confide in your partner is because you trust the person. Trust is also the main ingredient or should I say the main material to building a strong relationship. Don't shift blames. If your partner tells you she was busy that was why she missed your call then believe her. You can't trust someone if you don't give the person the benefit of doubt. If she tells you yes then take it like that.
• Spiritual life : Yes!! This is also part of it. I'm a good evidence. It has really worked for me. Pray for your partner. Above everything in your relationship,put God first. Let him know about the plans you and your partner had. Put him in everything and what's more,always pray for your partner. If you want your relationship to last longer and stronger then you both need each others prayers. Anytime you pray,make sure to remember your partner. Your partner grows because of your help. So help each other both spiritually,psychologically,financially and even educationally.
• Love: Yes!! Love I shld say will be my last. Remember my first on the list?? Best friends. You must first be best friends. And remember I said,that best friends are those who find each other lovely to become lovers? Yes.. When you are able to become best of friends,I know you will first love him/her has a friend,but when you find your boyfriend/girlfriend in the person then the feeling changes to real love.

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Before I forget, I will like to say a big thank you to Tijani Ridwane Damilare for also contributing to keep my blog together. You can follow him up on9jatechtips. Com

                                                        I'm so happy😉😊 today you can't imagine. Guess what??. Ogbongematters.blogspot.com was also nominated as the best domestic abuse blog of the year.
 I also won the best blogger award. Hurray 🎇🎇. I'm so happy. I'm happy that I don't just post,but the little I post is been appreciated. I owe this awrd to my viewers who took their time to view my blog. I also Thank Almighty God for the grace and knowledge . I hope and pray for more awards in future. And yes,I also congratulate my fellow bloggers that we're given this same awrd. I pray 🙏 that this will not be the last. Congratulations 🎉 once again.

Drug abuse is another issue we need to talk about. People tend to misuse drugs especially young people. They tend to use drugs excessively because they think it's good for them or because they want to be among the crew of friends.
                                          MEANING OF DRUG ABUSE
Drug abuse as the name implies is the excessive use of drug without a doctors prescription.
If you check you will see that the category of drug abusers are mostly teenagers. They do this because they see their peers doing the same and because they want to fee among.
               HOW IT STARTS

• from peers 
• wrong friends
• wanting to also be among
• Wrong advice

                                           EFFECTS OF DRUG ABUSE

Happy Eid Mubarack to all of my Islamic followers. A month when you share the little you have with others. I pray that God answers all of your prayers and also use your prayers to help Nigeria as a whole. Happy Eid once again my friends.

Being back again is an opportunity and I thank God. As always I will always thank my contributors. Thanks to Faith Alugbue for her contribution.

                                             MEANING OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE


 Emotional abuse as our topic today can be seen mostly in relationships,marriages,families friends and colleagues. Emotional abuse can be seen as a feeling of self worthlessness or self esteem that is been caused by another. Making someone feel less important or making them feel a low self esteem means that you are emotionally abusing the person.

                                           EMOTIONAL ABUSE VS PHYSICAL ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is quite worst than the physical abuse. People often think that physical abuse is worst than the emotional abuse but it's not true because physical abuse keeps wounds on your outer self but emotional abuse is something that can't be seen buy felt. Emotional abuse is more serious than physical abuse because it can at times affect your way of thinking amd the  way you behave among your friends. Emotional abuse is mainly seen in relationships because the guy will always want to impose some certain types of authority over you which will definitely change your way of thinking and your way of doing things.

                                        TYPES OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE .

Verbal emotional abuse: This is when he shouts at you and embarrasses you in public because of a small fault .Social emotional abuse: This is when he tends to monitor your social medial and the what you do there. He monitors your relationship with friends and loved ones. He always wants you two to be together all the time
                        HOW TO KNOW YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.


sixteen warnings will be discussed here 

1)He never misses the opportunity to call you names and embarrass you in public .
2)He always wants you to agree to everything he says .
3)He always monitors you movements and the people you meet .
4)He never gives room for you to have a social life with the opposite sex .
5)He always wants you around him .
6)He will never give your ideas a second thought.
7)He just dismisses them even before you finish .
8)He keeps track of your calls .
9)He always claims to he jealous and in that way he insults you .
10)He accuses you of everything even when it's not your fault .
11)He accuses you for his errors .He never apologizes for anything .
12)He will always want to be the Mr right in everything.
13)Always accuses  you of cheating.
14)He forces you to do only his bidding even when you don't want to.
15)Always use your weakness against you.
16)Always recognizes your fault and uses them against you

                  WHAT TO DO IF YOU NOTICE SUCH IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

 It is of  a truth that you can never change an emotional abuser. No matter what you try to do for him,he will always find a fault in it. If you experience such in your relationship then you should try this steps
 1)Try staying away from the abuser: Don't always keep in touch with the abuser as he will always make you feel like you are not worth the time.
2)Always dismiss him when you see any sign of it: When you are with him and you sense that he will insult you or something,it's better you walk away and leave the discussion.
 3)Let him know hoe you feel: Anytime he insults you and you feel you are hurt inside,make him know that you don't appreciate his harsh comments,let him know that when he tries it again you will walk out on him.
4)Do the things you love doing: Just concentrate on the things that make you happy. Try doing new things that will keep your mind busy and off you abuser
5)Stay around motivational people: If you feel like your set of friends motivates you,then try hooking up with them. Stay around the people that will make you happy and see things the brighter way.
6)You can choose to walk out: Since you cannot change him then what is the use of being with somebody that only hurt you. If you choose to leave then you are free. After all you are not the same person and there is nothing you can do about their case. Instead of you suffering in silence then why not just walk out and surround yourself with people that will give you joy because if you choose to continue,it might affect you in every aspect of your life that even you will look down on yourself. Was this write up useful?? Why not tell me more of how you feel in that relationship and you will be surprised the responses you will get that will help you. Like always feel fell to comment in the box below and to like my page. You can also subscribe to always get every updates on my blog and interesting topics.

Before I start this one of my interesting posts,I will like to say a big thank you to my blog designer Tijani Ridwan. He really did a very good job for me. And I will also like to thank my viewers for checking out my last two posts How to stop that boring relationship and also Sexual abuse on women in our society. Another post for today will is Domestic violence.
Yes!!!Domestic violence as one of the 100 ways to die. Well as you know,I don't just post my own views,I also make sure my viewers on social media is appreciated.
Domestic violence as defined in the dictionary is a violent behaviour on the other especially in a relationship/marriage.
Types
Domestic violence is of different types. It doesn't just happen in a domestic way,it can also happen both,sexually,social,physical,and emotional.
Today we will be talking just on the physical abuse which is more rampant in our society today.
Physical abuse
It is a kind of abuse/violence that is been melted on other by a stronger person in a way that it will cause harm to the other.
This physical abuse/violence is mostly present in marriages between couples where you will hear that a man beats up his wife. Well this violence can be of different kinds
Types of physical violence/abuse

• Beating
• Strangling
• Scratching
• Biting
• Kicking
• Blowing

Use of any kind of physical object that will cause harm.
Women is mostly been abused physically in marriages by the men.
Marriages today faces that blow of domestic violence.
How to know when it starts
It actually starts anyhow and anywhere. It starts with a slap. At first you will see it as annoyance of the other and you will let it pass. And then it happens again and it will happen again. If u were able to over look the first time and the second,I don't think it will be right to over look it the third time because it will soon become an habit.
Who to seek help from

• A marriage counsellor shouldn't be such a bad idea especially if you have one for you marriage. You should seek help from them because at least they are experts
• A family member also should be an option.Report to a family member especially the persons family members. Let them know what is going on and you can also make it known to your own family members. 
• A rehabilitation centre shouldn't be a bad place to go. See if he can be rehabilitated to the man you once knew.
• You can also call the emergency number(000) to get help.
• The police must be an option if you know you have tried others and it's not working. He might be given some kind of warnings and he will be under watch.
• Woman right. Yes the woman right is also a good option to try. 
• Confide in a close friend of yours and seek for advise.

 I'm not trying to say you should tell your problems to the world. Prevention is better than cure they say. So instead of staying at home and receiving this torture,why not confident in someone and seek help. A problem shared is halve solved.

Don't relent to comment and add more ways you think it can be prevented as it will be appreciated.


More to come on
Emotional abuse
Social abuse
You can click here for sexual abuse on women in our society today

You can also email me on peacesimeon66@yahoo.com

Before I start this wonderful post,I will like for us to first look at the abuses that is been melted on women of then and women of now. I don't think that the society has changed in that in any way. Having asked from my followers on my facebbok page about the matter "sexual abuse,I have come to realization that it's something that is still on ground in our society today. According to the English dictionary"sexual abuse is any sexual activity that is undesired by one participant but is forced on them. 
Taking into consideration the what women feel.
Sine in our society today,this sexual abuse is mostly directed towards the women and not the men,it has brought me to the part of consentrating on the sexual abuse on women in our society today.
90% of women in our society today has gone through this issue. Most women in our society today are been silenced saying they have no say to anything especially their bodies all in the name of marriage. The olden time ways is been brought back.
Before now(olden days)women were not allowed to take possession of their only asset which was their bodies. Men slept with their wives anytime they pleased. They didn't care neither did they want to know if the woman needed it or not. They felt the woman had no other choice but to lay their bodies all in the name of marriage.
What about the situations of rape? Where guys lay ambush for a lady and lays with her against her will. What about now? Most ladies are still been raped/slept with against their own will by guys of selfish desires. What about the wives who are been slept with at anytime and any day? I'm not neglecting the fact that they are married,but do you think that women should be handled with less care when it comes to sex? They should be slept with even when the woman doesn't want it and it is been forced in her? Thank God for the some of the blessed marriages today unlike the ones that not to fortunate. Thanks to the lady (Omolara) who was willing to share her story on how she is always been sexually abused. The part that really touched me in her story was when Mahesh said and I quote"my husband beats me and later rounds it up with sex. He sex me anytime he pleases even when I don't need it. And because he is a man,he beats me to it". Considering things like that,do you still think that it should go on? Women are been disrespected by been sexually abused and most women live with the trauma for the rest of their life.
Women must be treated with even much respect. Women are not weak vessels as they think. Women are strong and powerful. Women have the power especially to their own bodies.
Prevention of sexual abuse
Just two of the preventions will be discussed.
1)Government should make sure that the law covering sexual abuse in women should be strongly enforced.
2) The awareness of these laws should be taught to both men and women.  Men should be warned against it and a strict punishment should be given to any man that sexually abuses his wife or any other woman.
In conclusion
Women should also be directed the same respect that is been directed to the men. The men should know that women has the right to her body be it your wife/girlfriend.
It pains me that men don't go through these sexual abuse like women. Maybe If they did,they will know how the women feel when they are been sexually abused.


Thanks to all my followers on social media that actually contributed to this matter. I look forward to more views and questions is there be any from friends both home and abroad.
Feel free to also comment on this matter.
You can also email me onpeacesimeon66@yahoo.com